Blowing in the wind

Well, once again I haven't written in a long while. My thoughts and emotions are really jumbled up these days. Half the time I trust myself and the most of the time I don't.  Are mistakes really how one is suppose to learn in this life? If that is the case..I have learned VERY much. Except I havent! I don't know which way is up or down. I don't know if I am making the right choices. I don't know if I should just go with things and not worry when I am in serious doubt. Maybe I'm just a worrier...That's what I tell myself. That way I can at least have some piece of mind sometimes and not always be second guessing myself. Relief from MYSELF! Now that's a psychological disorder! And I thought my "order disorder" was bad.

I just read this first paragraph as it was a draft I had started a few weeks ago. Funny thing is I came here to start a blog (not remembering this draft) about asking God questions and for help with decisions. I have figured out what I do! I look up to the sky weather its sunny and breezy with white clouds smeared across it or drizzly, I look up and I whisper my question to God and picture my question going up and either blowing around in the wind in an upward spiral or going out into the rain and evaporating into the air that we all breathe until it one way or another reaches the puppet master.

Thing is I don't know how the answer comes back to me. I think its just the letting it go up the air part that makes me feel that whatever I decide is his answer to me. I mean if one just sits around and doesn't EVER make a decision nothing in this life will ever evolve!

So today God I ask you, Up there in the clouds, sky and air, "will you blow the answer down to me?" Sometimes I get so lost and indecisive that I cant even decide on beef or chicken. Good thing there is always enchiladas.