The dryer turns and the Today show sounds like noise I am not really listening to. Thoughts of the Algebra homework I need to do dance in my head with little mischievous smiles. My guts are bulging out from the top of my short shorts and my bleach job is half gone. All these things I should be doing weigh me down and pull at me. I don't know why...they are just things! But all they same they do. I feel like I'm always trying to get "things" done, and I never do. It can be over whelming even though it shouldn't be.
I'm hard on myself. So I am alittle heavy in the middle and I am not very good at getting to that closet full of winter clothes because I am afraid of the spiders that may live there. So what right? I wish I felt that way! But I constantly have a nag in my mind of how I am a slacker. That I should be running the track and look cute all the time.
Focus Cheryl! Make a list and stick to it. Get off this computer and do your homework. Clean closets in the morning and spend ten dollars on a box of hair color. (I just noticed walk the track was no where in that last list) see....and THAT even bothers me. Thank God I'm not perfect and I'm not suppose to be.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
I don't care what you think!
I spend some time most days wondering how other people live their daily lives. Comparing myself I guess. I find myself looking to others idea of happiness to measure mine. I don't know why my whole life has been filled with worry of what other people think about me, my lifestyle and my appearance. Why can't I just make a statement like " oh were doing fine" or " things aren't going so great", without trying to explain and sugar coat things. It seems I feel like I always have to explain. I have fear of people thinking I'm not doing perfectly well and making the right decisions ALL the time.
When really I bet other people have very imperfect lives, I just don't know it. My focus today is in this order; building my spiritual contact with my higher power,work on my marriage and myself, my family and my education and the future. I can't worry about anything else.
"It's none of my business what other people think".
When really I bet other people have very imperfect lives, I just don't know it. My focus today is in this order; building my spiritual contact with my higher power,work on my marriage and myself, my family and my education and the future. I can't worry about anything else.
"It's none of my business what other people think".
Friday, August 24, 2012
Be strong forgive Gandhi did
Forgiveness...is the renunciation or cessation of resentment,indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, disagreement, or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'.
So if I forgive I am not to punish one again for it, and not bring it up daily or regularly. That's the hard part. If I say I will forgive you, I am also saying I wont make you feel like a piece of crap regularly. Ok so I am willing to try. The hard part is sticking to it and I think as the "forgiver" I have to. Its like I'm lying if I don't. I cant say it and not do it. Its a commitment of sorts.
In premarital classes I learned that in the Bible, somewhere...it says "how many times should we forgive"? And the answer a Daily double...728 or something like that. To me that means, one should forgive no matter what. I learned in the class before I got hitched that infidelity is forgivable. At the time I thought..OH NO ITS NOT! But it is. Not once a week or anything. But if I love someone and they make a mistake I can forgive. I am not perfect either and I sure hope that folks forgive me when I mess up, and I have ALOT! And I bet will again, alot probably.
It goes back to I'm not God. I will not judge anyone else. I often think about the old saying... well I cant remember it but its something about walking in someone elses shoes. Ya know there are times someone asks me how I am and I say "fine", but I'm not! One never knows what someone else is going through. So when people screw up, maybe there is something behind it, a reason they aren't doing well or making the right decisions, so don't be so quick to judge or write someone off. Maybe you can help them. I think it is our job to try. I think that's what we are all here for. To help each other.
Oh yes there is pain in life. Can ya put it aside and help someone in need? The best way to forget my own troubles is to help someone else with theres. It's called "getting out of self".
So if I forgive I am not to punish one again for it, and not bring it up daily or regularly. That's the hard part. If I say I will forgive you, I am also saying I wont make you feel like a piece of crap regularly. Ok so I am willing to try. The hard part is sticking to it and I think as the "forgiver" I have to. Its like I'm lying if I don't. I cant say it and not do it. Its a commitment of sorts.
In premarital classes I learned that in the Bible, somewhere...it says "how many times should we forgive"? And the answer a Daily double...728 or something like that. To me that means, one should forgive no matter what. I learned in the class before I got hitched that infidelity is forgivable. At the time I thought..OH NO ITS NOT! But it is. Not once a week or anything. But if I love someone and they make a mistake I can forgive. I am not perfect either and I sure hope that folks forgive me when I mess up, and I have ALOT! And I bet will again, alot probably.
It goes back to I'm not God. I will not judge anyone else. I often think about the old saying... well I cant remember it but its something about walking in someone elses shoes. Ya know there are times someone asks me how I am and I say "fine", but I'm not! One never knows what someone else is going through. So when people screw up, maybe there is something behind it, a reason they aren't doing well or making the right decisions, so don't be so quick to judge or write someone off. Maybe you can help them. I think it is our job to try. I think that's what we are all here for. To help each other.
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| Gandhi |
Oh yes there is pain in life. Can ya put it aside and help someone in need? The best way to forget my own troubles is to help someone else with theres. It's called "getting out of self".
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