The things I saw and felt Easter Sunday

Today is Easter and the first time I think I have absolutely not celebrated it in some way. Weather it was hunting eggs as a kid or painting them as an adult. Then there was the year I was the VERY hungover Easter Bunny. No reason in particular that I did nothing this year. But the ironic thing is, it's the first year I thought about what Easter is really about and so I guess really it's the first year I HAVE celebrated it!

I started my day by watching a sermon on TV about Jesus rising from his resting place (or "tomb" for a lack of a better term). I found it very interesting as I have these last few weeks. The other night I caught the beginning of the Crucifixion in "The Passion of the Christ". I had seen it at the theater before with my parents. But this time it brought more tears to my eyes. Also I found myself watching sermons on Facebook and Youtube of a friend of mine that speaks the words of the Bible. She has helped me through some trying times in the last year.

 I don't know, but I feel a sense to understand more exactly what is, this God I have not believed in my whole life. I have found God in Sobriety. That I know. But I want to know more about Jesus. How could I have just said I don't believe, when I don't even know the details of the story?

So after the sermon on TV this morning I contemplated church for a couple of hours, then I took a walk. I thought what better church is there than on "Gods green earth" right? I saw things in a different light. I thought of the what little I know of the story of Jesus. And I consciously thought of the pain he endured for his beliefs, how far he was willing to go...to his death.

I thought of many other things too. About religion in general, church, my baptism, faith and I prayed alot, all morning in fact. I have never done that in my life. I thought about how so many people for so many years could possibly believe this story if it wasn't true! I mean there cant be not one person on this ENTIRE earth who hasn't heard of Jesus and his story!! NOT ONE. Think about that. They don't all believe it....but they have all heard of him.

I found my spirit full of peace this morning during my walk. I felt like nothing really mattered except the rain that was falling on my head. OH YES! I started my walk while it was raining. I didn't get caught out in it. I was drawn out in it.