Love hurts people. I think I have been in love twice. The first time hurt fiercely because I loved him and I screwed it up, I loved him... I did it. The second one because my heart has been completely crushed.
That has never really happened to me! I wonder now has everyone else been through this heartbreak? My sister says you all have I'm just getting it late in life. To that I say, I wish I had been through this before. I'm getting old and I'm already a very emotional gal.
I just pray I can move forward. This is hard! Loving someone that pounces on me like my feelings are disposable. It's a learning experience.
I guess I will look back someday and smile or laugh. But right now... I feel like an eighth grader crushed from a crush. Remember how bad those hurt? A million times over is what I feel in my head and heart.
Confusion about it all too. Then I just have to remember that alcoholism is a cunning and baffling disease. But then again that is what has let him back in everytime. So I can't spend to much time on that. I have to remember that I CAN'T HELP OR SAVE HIM.
God will show me what to take from this, right?
I like all the trees, Very pretty.
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